I hate that I do what I'm asked and its like I cant control myself everyone else has to why cant I speak up oh yea I forgot everyone shuts me out but why though I hate that ugh I'm so easy to bring down I hate that to why am I so worried about who I am how can I change myself I wish I could go through surgery and they would switch my brain to a nice girl who doesnt care about anyone else I feel like I'm going to scream to the world cuz thats all I can do no one will listen not even my boyfriend and then if I tell him things that he deos he gets so angry but he has to know what he does to me and its so wrong I cant say I dont know anymore cuz I do its just frustrating and difficult nothing is improving at all becuz it cant why cant I say that is it becuz I love him so much and I just cant say anything mean to him I mean I'm always trying to speak my mind why is everyone hurting so much and the big thing is why is my protector hurting me and he doesnt care everything is just going to continue and its not going to stop maybe I should leave him maybe I'll be happier I think I will but I'll be torn up inside becuz I love him and I know he will threaten me with breaking up so yea but whatever I dont know I guess all I'm good for is sex to him